Uhm…. Jy moes nie.

Junie 3, 2014 at 9:00 vm 16 Kommentaar

kop

Ek het Saterdag weer rusteloos geraak en besluit om die pad te vat. So gesE, so gedaan. Ek het die Fordjie gepak en in die pad geval. Iewers langs die pad, het Moeder Natuur gegin roep en ek moes noodgedwonge luister.
daar het ek die outjie teegekom. Aangesien daar op die stadium net een ander stalletjie oop was, een wat aangedui het “OUT OF ORDER” moes ek maar die ander stalletjie gebruik. Al was dit duidelik die plek aanwyser het al in die verlede voorbarig geraak. Ai, my stokkie het in die Fordjie se kattebak agtergebly en ek was verplig om die mannetjie ferm aan te spreek en te oortuig dat my handsak ook straf kan uitdeel. Hy het darem geluister. Ek is vas oortuig hy het in die verlede nie net plek aangewys nie, maar was sommer vatterig ook die dat hy
sy kop afgeklap gekry het. Hy wou mos.

kop af

Eers het ek gedink dat hy maar sonder kop geskep was om te keer dat hy voorbarig raak. Maar nadat ek Moeder Natuur se sms geantwoordhet, het ek sy broer in die ” OUT OF ORDER” stalletjie gaan raadpleeg. What do you know? Sy kop was op sy plek. Tog ek dink nadat Boet sy kop verloor het, het die eienaar maar besluit om hulle van versoeking te bevry en hulle hande weg te neem.

Gedagte van die dag: Ken jou plek.

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Entry filed under: Volgens my.

Hemelvaart Reg so.

16 Kommentaar Add your own

  • 1. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 11:03 vm

    Hou die twee broers hulle hande uit ( gimme gimme….)………….Kan nie eers rustig n #2 nie.

    Antwoord
  • 2. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 11:05 vm

    Al die vol rolle toilet papier is ook al klaar “gevat”

    Antwoord
    • 3. Olga  |  Junie 5, 2014 om 11:44 vm

      Of die dom Sanna iewers voor jou, het die laaste rol deur haar swart gat getrek en (gelukkig) in die pot gegooi om alles wat gebeur te blok. Mog sy glips waar daar nie bos of toilet naby is nie.

      Antwoord
  • 4. Kameel  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 11:20 vm

    Ek verwonder my aan die toilette in die laaste; gryp ook so wan en dan my kamera om iets moois of oorspronklik af te neem. Weet nie of jy met tye sukkel om die hedendaagse krane te “operate” nie….

    Antwoord
    • 5. Olga  |  Junie 5, 2014 om 11:42 vm

      Ai, wat my veral grief aan die minder hedendaagse krane is die vermorsing. Jy druk die knop en die water loop. Self ek wie my tyd vat met ‘n gehandewassery is lankal klaar dan loop die water steeds. Meeste mense in openbare toilette loop net uit, ander druk dieknop, vee hulle hande onder die waterstraal deur en is lankal in die Wimpy, dan loop die water nog. Die einste toilette se krane het my beIndruk. Dit was toe ek hulle eers uitgepluis het. (Ja
      sally, ek het ‘n handleiding nodig.) Jy druk jou hnd onder die kraan, water loop, as jou hand onder die straal uit is, stop dit. Bitter min vermorsing.

      Antwoord
  • 6. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:08 nm

    Op sekere ouderdom sukkel van ons met “meer” as net die krane

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  • 7. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:17 nm

    What is the difference between a toilet and Convienience Store Clerk?

    A toilet only has to deal with one asshole at a time.

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  • 8. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:18 nm

    Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, “Your thing doesn’t have any skin on it!”.

    “I’ve been circumcised.” the other replied.

    “What does that mean?”

    “It means they cut the skin off the end.”

    “How old were you when it was cut off?”

    “My mom said I was two days old.”

    “Did it hurt?” the kid asked inquiringly.

    “You bet it hurt, I didn’t walk for a year!”

    Antwoord
  • 9. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:19 nm

    Confusius say,”Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”

    Antwoord
  • 10. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:33 nm

    How to Poop at Work

    We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. We’ve all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

    ESCAPEE
    Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)
    Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

    WALK OF SHAME
    Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
    Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

    THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)
    Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

    SAFE HAVENS
    Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

    TURD BURGLAR
    Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

    CAMO-COUGH
    Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

    ASTAIRE
    Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

    WATERMELON
    Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

    HAVANA OMELET
    Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

    UNCLE TED
    Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

    FLY BY
    Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

    Antwoord
    • 11. Olga  |  Junie 5, 2014 om 11:35 vm

      Dankie Klip. Dit kan ek nuttig gebruik.

      Antwoord
  • 12. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 1:45 nm

    An Indian walks into a trading post and asks for toilet paper. The clerk asks if he would like no name, Charmin, or White Cloud.
    “White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper,” says the Indian. “How much is it?”
    “$1.00 a roll,” the clerk replies.
    “That seems pretty expensive,” responds the Indian. “What about the others?”
    “Charmin is $2.00 a roll and no name is 50 cents a roll.”
    The Indian doesn’t have much money so he opts for the no name.
    Within a few hours he is back at the trading post. “I have a name for the no name toilet paper,” he announces to the clerk. “We shall call it John Wayne.”
    “Why?” asks the confused clerk.
    “Cause it’s rough and it’s tough and it don’t take no crap off an Indian.”

    Antwoord
    • 13. Olga  |  Junie 5, 2014 om 11:34 vm

      John Wayne het mos geken van.

      Antwoord
  • 14. Klip  |  Junie 3, 2014 om 3:39 nm

    Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.

    The first lady said, ‘I don’t know bout y’all, but I’m gunna put me
    on sum hot pink panties beefo’ I gets on dat plane.’

    ‘Why you gonna wear dem fo?’ the other two asked.

    The first replied, ‘Cause, if dat plane goes down and I’m out dare
    Laying butt-up in a confield, dey gonna find me first.’

    The second lady said, ‘Well then I’m a-gonna wear me some
    Floe resant orange panties.’

    ‘Why you gonna wear dem?’ the others asked.

    The second lady answered, ‘Cause if dis hare plane is goin’ down
    And I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.’

    The third lady says, ‘Well, I aint gonna wear no panties…’

    ‘What? No panties?’ the others asked in disbelief.

    The third lady says, ‘Dat’s right girlfriends, you hears me right.
    I ain’t wearing no panties cos, honey, dey always look for
    da black box first’

    Antwoord
  • 15. Klip  |  Junie 4, 2014 om 11:22 vm

    F*k dis koud hier in die Vrystaat. Nou dra die manne twee kortbroeke.

    Antwoord
    • 16. Olga  |  Junie 5, 2014 om 11:33 vm

      trek seker ook sokkies hoog op?

      Antwoord

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